Messenger Snow Day '07

(teaser)

I see that I am being chastised by one of the old guys about not posting often enough, so I better get on top of a Snow Day post.
The morning had gone quite well so far. I woke up, barely enough to see the white flakes coming down. With a big stretch, and almost in the same motion, I reached up towards the window sill to look out, and grabbed my cell phone to call my mom.
After a cautionary call to her, and like wise texts to Operation Fabulous, I settled back down for a long morning of music, and falling in and out of sleep, repeatedly....
And this was going well, until I realized, with my eyes still closed, that it certainly was sticking.
This is when I jumped up, threw on some clothes, and took first one bike, then the other out for test rides around the block.
My Fat Chance Mt. Bike turned out to be the best suited for the job. Having made it past the great obstacle that bike selection is, I could move back up to my room, prepared for what might happen.

And happen it did, as just after lunch General disarray called, asking what was going on.
But he knew what exactly what I was doing, which was nothing, so suggested the best idea heard in weeks.
They were getting a bottle of whiskey, and heading up the hill to the Mac Club park, to jump bikes in the snow. This idea would blossom into many good and bad choices, and strangely up hill, then down.
When I arrived in the park,there was a good little crowd. Lahar was there, as was Slackjaw, Spence, Thud, Mange, and El Dupe. They had already constructed a little jump. I have to give them credit, the really made a good attempt. It was just unjumpable in reality, which is not the favored place for this crew to be.
I had a drink, looked at the park, and decided to step it up a notch.
The MAC Club park contains a little run (trail), with four or five small jumps and bump along the way.
It was along this path that I started breaking trail. It required a track stand in the beginning, to knock the snow off of the cleats.
Down a little four or five foot hill, hoping you got you foot in the pedal quick, as snow does not allow for mistakes.
At the bottom of the little hill, it was a shallow right turn around a tree, then across the first level of the park.
There is a nice little ten foot roll in there, which puts you peddling and partially sliding towards a tough pole, and a jump right on the other side.

Spence had piled some snow on the spot after the first time I hit it, so it got progressively better and better. Eventually I was able to cross up off of it, and move towards the final lip, which puts you out of the park, over the sidewalk, and into the street.
This run was very fun, and didn't have many takers, which was sad.
I recall turning around, and seeing Lahar peeing in trail we were trying to ride. Knowing full well how imobolized one is while peeing, I took the opportunity to shove snow down the neck line of his shirt.

He took it very well, and held out for a while before the wrestling started.
I got my feet up into his chest, and basically held him off well, while the others dumped snow all over me.

Right after this I took the chance to take mange down fully and quickly into the snow, with out even much retaliation...
He must have been tired from riding his little bicycle all morning.
We, after an unsuccessful beer run, decided to move on up the hill, into Washington Park, and the Rose gardens.
Along the way we encountered some hooligans, who were planted at the top of SW salmon, with snow saucers.

One of the girls already had a bloody head from hitting a car, and the other one handed me a saucer, saying "The Bike Boys should do it".
Instead of the locally adopted "sit on the saucer and be pushed down the hill", I choose to pull a Flyin' Hawaiian, running a little ways down the hill, jumping into the air, and landing on the sled with forward momentum. I might remind you that this is a serious hill...
We were already split up at this point, and had time to kill.

Tad headed down the stairs to Zupan's to refuel, before we moved up the hill to the Rose Gardens.
This ride moved onto un-traveled roads, and the going got a little slow, and Spence, who seemed to be leading us, was getting a little drunk.
Eventually we got him to just stop, and relax. We had a great view of the snowy city in front of us. That, combined with another great view, our intended route through the snow down the hill.

We amped up with liquid courage, and one by one pointed it straight down the hill, through one obstacle, and then another.
Everyone was tumbling in the snow, and cheering loudly. It was very fun, and even at the end of the hill, someone slid out and across 18th, near the path of an oncoming train.
The decision was made to go to the XV, and celebrate our successful celebration.
Many beers were had, and at one point I couldn't operate my lock, a sure sign of at least partial inebriation.
I left the XV, and moved across town, and up the hill, to warm open arms, and dry clothes.
This had been, in everyone's mind, the best "Messenger Snow Day' here on record.
And judging from the list of attendees, the record goes back a mighty long time....
And, yes, I was nominated by someone for the Alice B. Toeclips award.
I guess in such a great cycling city, even a cantankerous old guy like me has the possibility of being recognized.
By some one.
Somewhere.
Anywhere?