Saturday, December 23, 2006

Less Yellin', More Pukin'.....Week Two........Cash Money

It all started on the Burnside Bridge, Thursday night, On the way to the "Cash Money Alley Cat, Week 2". Off the sidewalk on the bridge, to find a Tri Met short bus parked right there, and a Big Bus on my left. Fully blocked, and needing to pull over two full lanes as those were occupied too. Bjorn was behind me and said it looked like a sideways, 45 degree angled slide. Personally it appeared that going under the truck was inevitable, but I stayed fully upright and maneuvered around it. Bike Polo training pays off in the end though. Good ole Hutchison Tires.
And right down the street was Ash Street Saloon, and Slackjaw waiting to yell some more.
He was showing off prizes such as a sneaky Pete, and Grenade Gloves. Once registration got under way, a total of $55 dollars for tonight's winner was held up, and off we went.
I spoke to T. Danger right before the start, and told him everyone was going to go south on the west side of the river.
We should ride together and take the East bank.


Sure enough, at the start everyone took off fast, on the west side of the river. If you listened at the bar, you already knew that the lower deck of the Steel was closed. We plowed over the top ramp toward the East Side. I passed Gary on the way over the bridge, and rolled into the ramp for the first clue, 10907. Down the rest of the ramp fast, and across the floating dock. I love the noises the floating dock hinges make when you hit them.

At the other end of the esplanade we crossed the OMSI parking lot, and that was the last I saw of Todd Danger. It was told that he went up 99, and over the Sellwood, missing two full clues. He should have followed me, I told him.... Straight down the road was the MCoy stairwell, and another clue, "The Money Is Mine Bitch".
Off on the long, fast roll to the Oaks Bottom, where a little bridge exists, and the words " Dime Bag". About halfway to The Sellwood bridge now, my stomach started to revolt. Puking and riding only really requires slowing down a little, and an ability to aim well.
I launch an assault of bile off to the right, and across the bike path while turning left, staying dry, then pedal off. Through Oaks Bottom, I saw 4 riders going the other way, which by my calculations put me in 5th place. I wrote another clue on my arm in Sharpie. This is where I had been writing all the clues, on the fly. Stopping and gaping tells others where the clue might be, and I had encountered Bjorn and



Ian on the bridge alone. Off the end of the bridge fast, and down Macadam towards the Spaghetti Warehouse for the last clue. But not before a round of puking while rolling very fast, right near John's Landing.
There were bonus points if you brought back flowers. And so I grabbed a whole pansy plant out of the ground, and put it in the big pocket of my Reload bag.




This was a good things, since we needed the flowers for Zak, who was hit by a car. I don't want to go into that much, since I am sure it is being looked into still.
Back onto Macadam Ave. And across to Front, which is a nice, gradual downhill. On the fast track back to the Ash Street, to secure 5th place with two bonuses.
I got to slam my bouquet on the table, and grab a Beer on the race tab, which was good . It was badly needed after 40 minutes of fast fun. Scotty was the winner again, with
Barney in second, and Brady in third. Chaz was right behind them.

Much revelry ensued, Scotty got paid, and I won the sneaky Pete.
We rallied up, and went to the hospital in North Portland to see Zak. They actually let about 8 of us go back to his room, and I got some great pics of him and his bike. Plus a shot of the kids hamming it up a little.
The nurses came in to clean out the wound. So, we started to clear out, but not before I took this.
This is a graphic shot, with the gravel and asphalt still wedged in the skin.
( Click on this pic if you dare! )


I rallied home with Bjorn to dry out and relax.
Next week, I will be third, if not second.
Movin' On Up...........



Who needs paper? It just gets wet anyway......




You could see inside this cut a little, at the right angle, which of course, was not the angle I shot from.

The stem appeared to have broken at the steerer tube. Oh, and it is folded in the middle of the top tube.



This is a picture of a man about to be given painkillers, so two cute nurses can scrub rocks out of his skin......



This is Fox. He spits fire.


Gary, I had to juke him in Oaks Bottom. He was too close, so I turned off my rear light and pedaled hard, dropping him.

1 comment:

bre metal said...

you posted the gayerst picturw of me ever. zacs ass is gross. hooray for drunk bike kids.