Thursday, July 26, 2007

Dear Dabby,

These are some questions asked of me, and the answer's I have for them.

They are from the PUMA site, but El Dupe liked them and said I should post them here also.




Do YOU have a question for Dear Dabby? Email him @ johnnyrocket29@yahoo.com



Dear Dabby,
I hear the Mercury is putting on an "alleycat". What's
your opinion on this?

Eagerly awaiting your reply,

A. Pretendager




A. Pretendager,


In reality, this situation is worse than it even
seems. Fat Tire, the brewer, who is better at jumping
on bandwagon's than brewing beer, is throwing a number
of these across the country, Portland's being one.


There are some things that should be left alone. For
very good reason.
When corporations, and local rags (not even good
ones at that) start putting their noses deep into the
stink, and arrange event's that are so far out of
their element as to be effectively foreign to them, it
is the local cycling population that pays.


We are dealing with a cyclist/police problem
right now here in our fine city. With a huge increase
in ridership, the profiling of our small band of
messengers by the Portland Police is a constant. Yes,
in our town, messengers are carrying the brunt of the
ignorance of the 'Fixster"

We have a messenger here who has received at least 13
ticket's this spring and summer, from the same two

officers.


These range from legitimate stop sign violations, to
unconstitutional interpretation of loosely worded
braking ordinances.
Racing an alleycat in this town has become a sketchy
enough proposition, where one stop sign on your fixed
gear can cost upwards of 500 dollars in fines, or
in Portland speak about two week's work.


Now I have been approached by many sources, asked to
write articles about alleycats, schedules and info
on future races, etc.
And, besides my crazy ramblings on my stupid blog
, I have refused
every single offer. Yes, even the one's that have
offered to pay.


To see a local rag, that has already done irreparable
damage to the glowing reputations of Axles of Evil
bike polo, and the messenger's that our city relies on
daily, throwing a alleycat sickens me thoroughly.
It will do nothing more than to draw negative
attention to the one little slice of underground pie
that we still have.


And, don't get me wrong, hundreds will show up.
There will be a police presence. I do not even think
that the Mercury knows a "city wide race" is
considered illegal street racing, no different than
racing two rice burner's up Burnside. I do know they
can't get a city wide race permit, and they have
advertised it as a "City Wide Race", terminology that
will get you fined.


I can only hope that this is the beginning of a big
bite on the ass of civilian alleycats. If we are
lucky, this wound will get infected and cause long
term pain, possibly followed by a shot in the cheek
with a long, thick needle.


On a final note, when these "big wigs" {I have met
some of the Mercury staff, and they are not small
framed} jump onto the bandwagon, the supports will
surely break, depositing them firmly on the ground,
and back at square one, where they belong.


Bringing it 'round the Turkey and into your living
room,
Dabby




Dear Dabby,
Imagine an alleycat where it's Kevin Bacon from
Quicksilver vs. Kevin Costner from American Flyers vs.
Dave from Breaking Away. Who would win and why?

Regards,

Velocinophile




Dear Velocinophile,


Now this is a question that should have been posed
many moons ago.


In formulating the answer, I believe that we need to
cover a few key points about each of these men.


First Kevin Bacon. Hmmmm Bacon. Let me start by
saying I love bacon. I hope that my love for the
crispy meat does not heavily influence my answer.
While he appeared to have some sort of street smarts
in the movie, the reality is this:


He really did not even come close to beating L.
Fishburne in the epic "battle royale" between good and
evil. Yes, I know that Lawrence was killed by the drug
dealer in the middle of the race. But before that he
totally had Bacon beat.


Costner.... God damned Costner. If we review even
just a couple of his highlighted roles we can plainly
see is is no winner, and no thinker.
He had an aneurism during "American Flyer's". They
never even showed him finishing a race. He didn't even
really play much in "Bull Durham", and what does a
catcher really do anyway. And well, in the "Postman"
he was basically just a con man, preying on the
willing hearts of other's. On a final note, I have
friends who played the Russian's in "Flyer's", and
gained a little insight into the man through them.


This brings me to Dave. The original "Cutter". In
this film we can plainly see the length's he went to,
just to make a difference for himself. Everything
about this young lad screamed winner. As much as he
whined and suffered throughout this long film,
including drafting a truck magically in his small,
front chainring, he never gave in. Dreams of winning,
dreams of college, and, shared with me, dreams of
Italy, and racing with the legends there.


There is absolutely no question as to who would win.
As much as we love to hate them, and hate to love
them, the difficulty of living life as a "Cutter" will
pull Dave through to the end of the alleycat, possibly
even finishing right behind your's truly,


Dabby McCrashalot

8 comments:

C@ssette said...

I tried to put this on the mercury page but it wouldn't let me.
ahh!



All I wanted to really comment on was that I thought it was fucking asinine that the mercury would put on a bicycle race dubbed an "alleycat," and all I wanted was to give one of my favorite weeklies in the country a big 'Fuck you' for doing so. Those who know, I'm not going to explain my reasoning.

BUT- jesus, since I left Portland or since I got a larger view of the "bike scene" (via pittsburgh, philadelphia and New York) - this Internet vs Messenger argument is the most petty BULLSHIT I've read in quite some time. The last time I visited pdx, the majority of Portland messengers I worked with/ knew had 'retired' with all due time (or work in New York now!), and the scene seemed to be a whole lotta newbies. This is my favorite!:

"Dabby isn't a messenger anyway he is an unemployed hanger on with a blog..."
I hope this is Lucky making an awsome joke, if not, oh man-- that's even funnier.

Anyway even though I am still a rookie myself , and still feel new to this whole thing after a couple of years... I still know a race put on by non messengers is just a bike race and a race by messengers for messengers is an alleycat.. it's something in our community for our hearts. Being/ having been a courier is being part of a community that is hard thing to part from.

miss you guys.

-cassandra

Anonymous said...

[u][b]Xrumer[/b][/u]

[b]Xrumer SEO Professionals

As Xrumer experts, we from been using [url=http://www.xrumer-seo.com]Xrumer[/url] fitted a sustained fix things being what they are and remember how to harness the colossal power of Xrumer and turn it into a Bills machine.

We also purvey the cheapest prices on the market. Numberless competitors see fit cost 2x or square 3x and a destiny of the time 5x what we pervade you. But we believe in providing prominent service at a small affordable rate. The entire incidental of purchasing Xrumer blasts is because it is a cheaper alternative to buying Xrumer. So we aim to keep that mental activity in recollection and yield you with the cheapest censure possible.

Not just do we have the best prices but our turnaround heyday after your Xrumer posting is super fast. We intention secure your posting done before you discern it.

We also produce you with a ample log of successful posts on different forums. So that you can catch a glimpse of also in behalf of yourself the power of Xrumer and how we get harnessed it to help your site.[/b]


[b]Search Engine Optimization

Using Xrumer you can wish to apprehend thousands upon thousands of backlinks exchange for your site. Tons of the forums that your Install you settle upon be posted on oblige exalted PageRank. Having your link on these sites can categorically mitigate strengthen up some top-grade dignity back links and really aid your Alexa Rating and Google PageRank rating via the roof.

This is making your position more and more popular. And with this increase in reputation as familiarly as PageRank you can think to see your milieu really superiority high in those Search Engine Results.
Traffic

The amount of traffic that can be obtained aside harnessing the power of Xrumer is enormous. You are publishing your site to tens of thousands of forums. With our higher packages you may even be publishing your locale to HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of forums. Create 1 mail on a popular forum disposition inveterately get 1000 or so views, with communicate 100 of those people visiting your site. Now assume tens of thousands of posts on popular forums all getting 1000 views each. Your freight longing go through the roof.

These are all targeted visitors that are interested or curious nearly your site. Assume how many sales or leads you can succeed in with this titanic loads of targeted visitors. You are line for line stumbling upon a goldmine primed to be picked and profited from.

Keep in mind, Transport is Money.
[/b]

BECOME ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT YOUR CHEAP ERUPTION TODAY:


http://www.xrumer-seo.com

Anonymous said...

[B]NZBsRus.com[/B]
Forget Sluggish Downloads Using NZB Downloads You Can Easily Find Movies, Games, MP3 Singles, Applications and Download Them @ Electric Rates

[URL=http://www.nzbsrus.com][B]Newsgroup[/B][/URL]

Anonymous said...

I'm the sort of hombre who loves to try brand-new things. Right now I'm manufacturing my own solar panels. I'm making it all alone without the help of my staff. I'm using the internet as the only way to acheive this. I ran across a very awesome website which explains how to contruct pv panels and so on. The place explains all the steps needed for solar panel construction.

I'm not sure bout how precise the data given there is. If some guys over here who have xp with these works can have a peak and give your feedback in the site it would be grand and I'd highly value it, because I truly enjoy [URL=http://solar-panel-construction.com]solar panel construction[/URL].

Tnx for reading this. You people are the best.

Anonymous said...

Disunite Our Impuissant Prices at www.Pharmashack.com, The Colossal [b][url=http://www.pharmashack.com]Online Chemist's workshop [/url][/b] To [url=http://www.pharmashack.com]Buy Viagra[/url] Online ! You Can also Espy Greater Deals When You [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/cialis.html]Buy Cialis[/url] and When You You [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/levitra.html]Buy Levitra[/url] Online. We Also Comrades a Gargantuan Generic [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/phentermine.html]Phentermine[/url] In aide-de-camp of Your Nutriment ! We Bazaar Defame visor on [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/viagra.html]Viagra[/url] and Also [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/generic_viagra.html]Generic Viagra[/url] !

Anonymous said...

Infatuation casinos? indorse this unseasoned [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] lodestar and carry a adversity up online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also delay our untrained [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] bestow up at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and augment the snow veritable accident !
another unsurpassed [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] division is www.ttittancasino.com , because german gamblers, sprig in manumitted online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

Someone deleted several links from share-rapid and hotfile servers.

From now, we will use www.tinyurlalternative.com as our main [url=http://www.tinyurlalternative.com]url shortener[/url], so every url will be there and visible for everyone.

You can pick out from several great [url=http://kfc.ms]short url[/url] names like:

kfc.ms easysharelink.info jumpme.info megauploadlink.info megavideolink.info mygamelink.info myrapidsharelink.info mytorrentlink.info myurlshortener.com mywarezlink.info urlredirect.info urlshrinker.info weblinkshortener.com youtubelink.info and many others.

They include above 60 different ready domains and the [url=http://myurlshortener.com]url shortener[/url] service work well for free without any registration needed.

So we assume it is good idea and suggest you to use [url=http://urlredirect.info]url redirect[/url] service too!

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

You could easily be making money online in the hush-hush world of [URL=http://www.www.blackhatmoneymaker.com]blackhat videos[/URL], Don’t feel silly if you haven’t heard of it before. Blackhat marketing uses alternative or not-so-known avenues to produce an income online.